Why babies are gross

Don't get me wrong...my daughter is the prettiest baby in all the universe.  That statement is a fact.  She has gorgeous blue eyes and the most beautiful smile.  She looks like a baby model in everything I dress her in.  Despite her appearance and how much I absolutely adore and love her...I've decided that all babies are gross.

Harsh?  Yes.  But, very true.  Think about it.

1. Babies poop their pants.  Literally...they poop their pants.  My daughter never cries when her diaper is dirty, she lets us guess via the foul odor coming from her diaper.  I am starting to believe she prefers soiled diapers to clean ones.  And sometimes, poop gets on their clothes.  Or all over you.  Eau de baby poop is not a fragrance I like to wear.
2. Babies eat like pigs.  Every time I nurse my daughter, it is like she hasn't been fed in three days...even though she eats every two hours.  Some days, she eats every hour on the hour.  Its like having a ravenous beast on your boob, which is painful.  It gets all over her face, her clothes and me.  If she doesn't have a bib on when we bottle feed her, we have to change her outfit because its soaked.   
3. Babies never make it to the toilet when they puke.  I've given Annabelle formula on three occasions.  On two of them, she vomited like Linda Blair in The Exorcist all over herself and me without warning.  Not cool and very scary. 
4. Babies have no manners.  Despite her tiny size, my daughter passes gas like a 40 year old man.  Large and loud farts.  Its gross and impressive.  But, she never excuses herself.  What gives? 

My list is short...only because I've only been a mother for five weeks.  We've only left the house with the baby four times.  So I'm sure as Annabelle gets older and we get more experience, this list will only continue to grow.  

A check list unchecked

My first day solo was Monday.  I have accomplished nothing since than...and that's putting it lightly.  I remember when I used accomplish something.  Apparently, those days are behind me.

On the left, is me...bright eyed and bushy tailed, fully equipped to take on the day with baby in Boba Wrap.  I was going to start A's baby book, clean the bathroom, do laundry...and, I got none of the above done.  I did get a short, but much needed nap.  That counts for something, right?

So lesson one post-baby?  Don't expect to get anything done.  Not a thing.  It is not possible.  I stressed about my lack of accomplishments this week and its finally hit me -- I don't need to accomplish jackshit.  My whole purpose for these next few weeks is to take care of baby, me and learn / adjust to mommy mode.  Everything else will be there when I return to a somewhat "normal" life.  Or my hubs will take care of it.